Saturday, May 12, 2007

oh Lord...
i'm confuse..
please guide me..
thank you..
good night.












marine.spanish.missed.

Friday, May 11, 2007

i ought to be sleeping now.
anyway, i slept without dinner last night..
was too darn tired.
kept refusing to wake up and was almost late for work today..

anyway, i scrubbed f0r the first case just now.
it was a total laparoscopic hysterectomy bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy, pelvic lymph nodes dissection.
in short, it's the surgical removal of the uterus, cervix, tubes and ovaries...
because this poor lady had cancer of the endometrium.
=(

anyway, she had 2 previous surgeries done before, thus was prone to adhesions = abnormal bands of tissue that grow in the human body.
and it's bad to do using the laparoscopic method because, the adhesions grow over time and become attached to the walls of the abdomen, as well as to internal organs.
they may cause internal organs to attach to one another as well.

and that was what we saw when we entered the abdomen.
i thought they'll change to laparotomy straight away BUT chief dr wanted to TRY. -_-

they did..
but you know what?!
the case took about 8 hours to finish!
oh well, i just wanna whine at the fact that i was scrubbed up for 8 hours without water, food nor toilet break.
and that i had my brunch at 1630.
added to the fact that i didnt had dinner the night before.
superwoman.

was comtemplating whether to attend trg a not.. as i had to stay back at work till 1840..
and i was feeling feverish...
i went in the end...

when i wonder why i torture myself so much..
i'll be telling myself, this is what you wanted.... and i'll hear these words 'deal with it' ringing in my head....
sigh..
anyway, i think perspiring did me some good...
i suppose it's true when we always say that it's all in the mind...
=X

when i was done, i was like, good, you survived yet another trg..

irritated joanne just now in the car..
haaha..
we sang 'all i have to give' loudly and horrible just to irritated her.
>_<




met up with hid yday...
we had yoshinoya beef and veggie bowl, then we force Z to indulge in apple crumble and chocoloate frost malt with us at swensen's.
HAHA!!!!.











i've been thinking alot about us lately...
there's so much what if going on in my head..
like what if i wasnt that emo.
what if he had been more open to me about it..
there's so much questions i want to ask..
and yet sometimes, some questions are better left unanswered..
it's sad that the only way you can try to stop someone from loving you, or from loving someone is to stop contacting them...
i suppose that theory doesnt work on me..

maybe kyle was right about saying how stubborn both of us are...
when we were together, i wasnt afraid of showing him how weak i really was...
but now, i have to be strong infront of him.. that is whenever we meet and such..
i suppose i dont want him to feel bad or guilty....
or actually i do?

i should just stop it already..




i dont know what i'm blabbering about..
maybe it's the music i'm listening to right now..
the one that touched me and made me teared at E305 4 years ago??
it's amazing how time flies
.......












i fell in love with a nerd.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

MS was saying the other day that my life is damn happening...
even though shift work and training takes up alot of my time, i still managed to be organise.
>_<

as for today i woke up at 0840..
driving lesson was at 0900... thank God today was a better session..
though my engine still stall twice. >_<
came home, did the laundry, had brunch, watched tv..
heh, my own time okay?
i thought it was gonna rain in the late afternoon when i was on my way to sdba for canoeing...

in the end, it was so darn hot... -_-
but it was nice to be alone with the water again..

beaver and fudge are damn cute, they ran out of nowhere to me and started jumping and licking me..
later to realise that they hid under one of the canoe shelters..
they're kinda bigger now..
in time, i wont be able to carry both of them together at the same time..

so anyway, i went home to take a 30 min nap before heading out to meet jans for dinner at ajisen.
veggie curry ramen ROCKS!
haha...

hopefully, i'll get to meet hid tmr..
i so wanna shop at FOS cause i spotted cheap A&F stuff..
muahaha...
it's for the start of school anyway!
>_<

and hopefully, she'll approve my changes of duties, so that i can go for the race in Malacca!








lamb chops play along...

Monday, May 07, 2007

i dont know why i'm crying..
probably because i was reminded of how it felt then...
and i wished that she didnt have to gone through with it..
as i know how painful it was..

i thought the pain faded away..
but it still comes back to haunt me once in a while..

there isnt a day gone by, that i don't think about you..