Saturday, October 14, 2006

maybe sher's right.
girls tend to think more complicatedly when the guys simply means what they say with no hidden agenda behind them.
but he's different.





it's weird because i'll should be in tears by now.
but now, all i feel is numbness.







and there's a test tmr i've yet to study. YAY.
get back jaz. get back.













i took their smiles and i made them mine
i sold my soul just to hide the light
now i see who i really am
a theif, a whore, and a liar........
so just stay away and leave me ALONE.

Friday, October 13, 2006

asdknad insfk d'sljf.
i miss him.

sigh.
i made her cry today.
felt bad.
but i did it because i was and am looking out for her.
if i didnt do it, others will be worst.
i dont want her to feel what i felt before.
because it was painful and unpleasant.
i remember how i came up with my survival training programme.
that's why i dont want her or rather them, to go through what i've been through.
i may be spoiling them.
i also have a responsibility of looking out for them.
still, there will come a time to let go, to let them grow..
anyway for now, i wont let them experience it alone.




the harsh reality of work life.
it's an underworld.











they say the devil's water
it ain't so sweet
you dont have to drink right now
but you can dip your feet
every once in a little while

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

so looking forward to tmr's make up session of weights.
3 sets of 6 stations...
first set of 20 reps, followed by 25 then lastly. 35 reps.
then 60 x 3 sets of twisting with the medicine ball.
poor knees.







the only thing that made me smile yesterday, was the english-korean baby i midwifed.
she's 4350 g and simply adorable.










perhaps ignorance is really a bliss.. and i thank the Fathership for that.

Monday, October 09, 2006

there is a place where the wounded soul goes to hide,
a place that cannot be reached by human caring,
though it nods at the effort.
it's a dark, retractable place,
without windows and doors;
a place where the soul would be more alone than it has ever known... unless Someone ...
- Someone able to walk through walls -
was not already there waiting.

i tried so hard.
i really did..




in the end still.. , i failed.

i ought to be sleeping now.
yes, it's 4.58 am and i'm still awake.
madness.
was too engross in completing the project.
now i'm only gonna have 5-6 hours of sleep.
-_-
and i was thinking of running in the morning.... cause ST said my hips are FAT! that's why i cant twist properly??
....
anyhow, i'm gaining muscle weight.
shrugs.

run run run!


interesting german sausages...






they're HUGE! dont they resemble that organ most males have?
most cause transsexuals dont.




pigs.









i had flashbacks again.
sigh..