Saturday, October 07, 2006
i thought i smelled the haze during an operation today.
wth?
true enough i did...
xiang xiang was going to walk around chinatown alone today.
how can i let her do that?
in the end we managed to ask sim sim and tak kay along.
>_<
casio's exilim series!!
sigh.
i would then take pictures of most of the things i see.
meanwhile, these were taken by my phone ...
mini sausage combo!
germany does produces the awesom-est sausages!!
so what if the moon was covered by the thick fog? i've got a fake and bigger one. haha..
sleepy. work is at 7am tmr. HA!
lalala....
jazmine @ 01:25
Thursday, October 05, 2006
hmm. i suppose yes, what i feel does shows it through my expression.
anyhows.
shared my plans with JD while she was scrubbing just now.
she said i should prioritize what's important. like between dragonboat, which is a hobby? and a degree, which is needed to further my career.
dragonboating has never really been a hobby to me.
it's something i'm passionate about and my goal when i join them is to get back the fun of being a junior again and being able to race internationally. to represent the nation and to win something back. and hopefully it's throughout my bonding years with the hospital.
and i could take the degree full-time for just a year overseas after my bond.
she said i will take the advance dip scholarship when sister asks me again cause i actually thought about it?
as much as i want to stay because of some of the colleagues and the fact that i love my job, you only live once. or maybe cause i'm still young, and it would be exciting to venture out.
JD psycho-ed me by saying, you'll be alone, you'll miss your family and friends... but hey, i believe i'll still be able to manage..
and the thought of flying and little children is still there......
auntie patsy never fail to stimulate my appetite.
she's just amazing.
and i have him and Him only to thank for.
she keep feeding me with food, knowing that i havent been eating well the past few days.
but oh,the dark chocolate truffle from 'The Royals' is just aww... lovely.
it's not so sweet, but still dark and rich.
and when she bought it, she thought about me. cause she knew i needed comfort food.
how sweet.
i breathe him in once more.
he''ll never ever just be a friend. he'll always be someone special to me.
i'll be waiting.
jazmine @ 22:49
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
kallang's like a ghost town at night these days.
somehow it reminded me of slient hill. ...
arent they suppose to be training for regatta now!?
it's only 6 weeks left!
gosh gosh.
whoever invented the tension band is insane.
especially when you're asked to do 80 x 3 sets of triceps pull 2 days in a row.
sleep.
finally, i'm back to work tmr!
i still ---- ---. i still ---- ---.. ..
jazmine @ 23:04
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
so i couldnt stand another min being at home.
i left early for trg.
it was somehow comforting to just space out infront of kallang river..
and i cant believe i actually fell asleep on the bench.
survived trg today when all i had was a banana.
i just didnt had the appetite.
i know what will help me get better..
someone coming over to cook me tom yam soup, then we'll play ps2, try to come up with a tune and turn it into a song of our own. then off to the stadium to do 6 sets of 400m sprints, sit-ups on the tracks.. then gym!
we'll have a nice shower and dinner... continue with the music and maybe watch a little anime till it's time for him to go home.
there was sharp pain from the right knee.. bad bad bad, when it wasnt suppose to be the screwed up knee.
peg said probably cause i'm running more now, maybe, and maybe cause my feet were conditioned to the new pair of running shoes. the katana pair are still the best.
we did killer weights training today.
couldnt feel my arms when i'm done at all.
too weak?
took this from someone's entry....
but i think it's so true. provided at that point of time when the person typing it, really meant it.
some words were changed.
We all have certain walls of morals and beliefs of what is right and what is wrong. Things in our gut, to tell us what is the right thing to do.
But in life, depending on your interest, you can break down these walls.
Some people break walls to allow them to have more "fun", more excitement.
Some people break walls to give them more "power", more competitiveness.
And when these walls are down, you cannot feel the consequences of your actions. Until one day, its too late. It may take hurting one person, or many people. But I believe that eventually, that person will awaken, because he will never find true happiness.
When you get tired of the shallowness and facade of everything, you will start to question where the deeper things were. It is then we realize our mistakes.
And just like I was disgusted with what I have become in the past, I believe that he may one day realize and become disgusted with what he has allowed himself to become.
When that day happens, then he would be more ideal for her. The process of finding these truths in life is painful, but its a journey that everyone has to make. Because no great lesson is learnt easily. Its through pain, that we learn. Because the blade always looks nice until you cut yourself.
But I believe that ultimately, one should restore his morals as much as possible. Because you can break them down to get you where you want to be... but what goes around comes around.
At the end of the day, there are two routes to the same destination.
On one you can make enemies everywhere, have people think badly of you and hate you. You can be good at maintaining all your precious facades. But they are just facades.
On the other you can have inspired and motivated people, and helped more along the way. You can have genuine relationships, and people that you can really trust.
oh yes, there's this old saying about guys entering ns.
they either turn from good to bad, or bad to good, and maybe some discipline or real ones will stay forever true to themselves and be who they want to be and what they want to be. they wouldnt change because of peer pressure or will they?
ahh.. sounds like secondary school days..
but believe me. it's true.
jeremy is still as cuckoo as he used to be. >_<
i lost the guy who needed me when he needs to get his mind off his hectic workload and who thought i was weird.
i'm still weird. just a little broken now.
i just hope i can sleep well again.
jazmine @ 23:34
i lied.
feel so dead and hollow inside.
jazmine @ 13:26
Monday, October 02, 2006
i tried to nap. it failed.
told mummy about it and she asked me to get some tranquilizers?!?!
i was like what?! i'm not mental.
she said if this was to carry on she'll bring me to see a psychiatrist.
-_-
i'm not crazy. i just need some hynotic medicine to help me sleep better.
the first thing everyone will ask when you just return from leave is how's your leave.
i took a while to reply them.
how would you know how to anyway when all these happened:
- you won a gold medal for the first time over the weekend, and you got three in a shot with slipper vouchers.
- you were missing him badly...
- on the very night your best friend asked you to be her bridesmaid....15 mins later he broke up with you.
- you needed specs.
- you couldnt get to sleep no matter how hard you try every night.
- you attended church.
- you raced in the world breast cancer dragon boat championship and won the plate finals.
and you were scared that you might lose your efficiency when you return to work due to the break.
daddys always show how they love you, differently.
mine would have made me late for my race if i didnt eat my breakfast today.
anyway, work brings meaning to my life.
cause in here, i help to save lives.
so tell me now, how was you suppose to answer again?
do not be deceived by this armour of mine, for it's hiding her inside.
jazmine @ 00:37
Sunday, October 01, 2006
the accumulation of the sleep debt effects has finally kicked in.
i'm getting fainting and dizzy spells.
fcuk.
anyway, the team won the plate finals.
the starting were really fantastic honestly, cause we were leading half a boat infront of others... just that, they couldnt calm themselves down for long pulls after that. so it was disasterous.
the plate finals set were a little better. at least, they calm down after i shouted for long pull..
everything was just so pink today.
i really honor those women who survived breast cancer and came to row today.
they're truly the heroines...
this is just so cute.
jazmine @ 17:41