Saturday, September 30, 2006

i tried, i really tried to sleep.
but after 3 hours 50 mins, i woke up.
and i couldnt fall asleep after an hour or so i think.




it's nice to have that feel of attending lessons again.
makes you feel younger. not that i'm old. just nice...
Pastor Fabian is so COOL and FUNKY!
ashley and brandon are simply adorable.
maybe i'll go become a kindergarten teacher. =)




wasnt as focus as i am to be during trg today.
especially when i saw that big boat coming in.
then suddenly my heart was beating faster. not from the trg, but from that tall, dark figure.
god.
now, any tall, dark figures makes my heart stop for a sec.






finally met jo. just couldnt breakdown in front of her. cause i remember how it was to be the one watching. it'll just break your heart into pieces.
and dont be sorry, i'm just glad that you'll be here when i need you to.
thankfully, hid doesnt have to stay in for the time being.





if i cant get to sleep tonight, i'll ask jans to suffocate me, then i'll get unconscious from lack of oxygen. at least, i get to 'sleep'. i really need it for tmr.
though...........
what do you expect a coporate team with no experience, and only attended 7 sea trg sessions to do?
try their best. and have fun.












i'm glad he's back even for a little while....
he who made me cry for the first time, just by listening to him play.

it's nice to have a team mate staying nearby...
cause you can do extra trg together and you can push one another.
and cloudy did. we did 7 km in 45 mins.
haha.
i dont suppose it was good, but it is a good headstart, considering i dont clock the mileage at all?!
need to clock 10 km next week.
sigh sigh sigh.
poor knees.






it's funny how you want the one who cause you so much pain to suffer like you did or even more, but when he did, you do too...





please please let me be able to sleep well tonight.
i look like the living dead.
-_-








i'm finally reaching out to Him and him.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

think i strain my left tensor fasciae latae from too much leg exercises yesterday.
we all thought that ST will cut down the reps but instead we did 25 x 3 sets of:
- axe chopper (haha)
- lunges
- upright row
- clean and jerk
- bicep curls
- twisting with medicine ball 60 x 3 sets
- sit-ups, leg raise 50 x 3 sets

it kills. but yet the aching body is pleasurable. need to be prepared for the china race anyway, cause sdba is as screwed up as ever. they always make last minute decisions.
trg's only 3 times a week now... how wonderful is that!



never in my life i've cried myself to sleep, 2 hours later, i woke up with tears, then cry myself to sleep again. it's kinda scary actually that you can be crying when you are asleep, or so you thought that you were sleeping.







thanks to hid and diana for being here today.






i need to pick myself up fast and be strong for her.





i past by that place today... he flagged for my bus, and to my surprise, his lips found it's way to mine for the first time, and i had butterflies in my stomach. i was too immersed in that moment that i couldnt fall asleep.

i wish the coconut dropped on my head hard this morning.
then i wish my hippocampus would be affected, and when i wake up the only part of me that hurt the most will only be my head.

i wouldnt remember anything nor anyone, nor him. nor how painful it was.
nothing.
absoulutely nothing.











he was different, but he chose the easy way out by turning into him...









i had happiness in that pool of saddness.....
..... now i am broken with saddness.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

it was simply overwhelming.

i wish someone would hug me right now.

did the cooking today. japanese chicken styled pasta.
i dislike staying home. cause i'll think a lot.
and it's honestly driving me crazy.



there's always some little thing around that reminds me of him.








......



i miss you so damm much.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

shopping at newurbanmale.com yesterday.
i got dizzy looking at ALL THOSE HAVIANAS.
the guy in green was so patient. he was so stressed though, till his grey hair came out! literally.

Monday, September 25, 2006

take another piece of my good graces.
i'm in my war;
you're in yours.
do we fight for peace as they take another piece of us?
but baby, i would let your darkness invade me.
you could maybe turn this white light into navy before you leave.












you use to call me baby.

t's been an amazing weekend.

sat:
one thing as the back pack is never to jerk up the stroke rate. cause in a 200m sprint event, there is very LITTLE room for mistakes in a short race such as this. during the heats, Ni pointed out to me that i was going a little faster than qihui during the maintanence, despite i kept shouting longer... -_- but boat was already gliding... still, so yes PATIENCE.

the semis set was AWESOME. the glide was good, the stroke rate was fantastic. everyone was patient and excecuted each stroke with the perfect power.

took this from a fellow teammate. 'blue was supposed to be our lucky colour today but despite majority of us wearing blue to row, we were very 'lucky' to get lane 3 in our heats, semis, and finals. lane 3 is a very 'lucky' lane cos when our drummer holds on to the fully extended rope, our 3rd row of paddlers are in line with the coxswain from lane 4 and well behind the rest of the boats. despite this, we managed to row our guts out and clinched the top spot a mere second ahead of SAFRA. ' >_<

after we got up to solid ground, i saw elise at the first aid booth, then i saw red spots all over her inner right thigh.. what rashes?! as i went closer i realised that and was shocked to see Elise's arm and leg has been splattered with blood. found out later that she hooked her thumb on the nail on the drum while drumming. and she didnt knew about it until joe-sie pointed out to her!


sunday:

was down early for the novelty race with KK. i would say it wasnt bad for a team who only had 7 sea trg sessions. we came in 3rd. haha. it definately boosted the morale of the team for the world's breast cancer foundation dragonboat championship next sunday.

i suppose i was nervous cause my stomach kept churning and churning after we do warm-ups!thank God, it was alright just before we launch.

all the sets were FANTASTIC... it was my first time experiencing rowing like that. we were all focused on the same goal, and we all did it as one. i've NEVER EVER rowed like this before... and the feeling is OVERWHELMING.

i'm beginning to see what HE has plan for me.

was moved to tears cause it's my first gold medal ever and i got 3 in one shot! =)
all thanks to HIM, him and them.




i took this from her again. >_< : ' It's not easy rowing in a team where expectations by others are high. When we win - it's expected. When we lose - everyone has lots to say. The joy of winning never fails to be mixed in with a little sense of relief.............................. Like yesterday, the sets were fantastic ones. There was no rush, pulling was powerfully controlled, there was room for body twisting and boat glided along as one. Gone are the days when you could paddle at a higher frequency in lighter, moving water (e.g. Kallang, East Coast, Marina Bay) Has the team finally understood how to row in hard water? Have we managed to wrestle our way up to another level? '

have we? we're soon to find out.

but anyway, the medals are a form of reminder and motivation for me to train harder. not to be complacent at where i am, for i know, i'm nowhere.


as coach always say, 'there are other teams out there training hard to beat you.' that's why we must train harder.

by the way, every gold winning team receives 25 pairs of Havainas. we've 75 pairs of Havainas for us! >_<

somehow i wished that jo and hid were there. but thankfully, there's ky.

i wanted to him to be the first to know. but it's always busy busy busy and work work work.