Friday, August 25, 2006

so we did weights today.
5 stations, 3 sets of 20 reps.
clean and jerk, biceps curl, bendover row, upright row, military press.
i tell you, after you did the first 4 stations, military press is a torment, you cant freaking do it properly and the worst thing was to do in a group of 5 together. -_-
i thought it was all over until coach decided to make us do the 5 stations, 1 set of 15 reps continuously at one shot. luckily it was own time own target, cause if i were to follow their pace, i'll probably injure myself.
my arms didnt felt they belong to me after that set.

and he made us do another.
......
then 5 mins of trunk twisting with the canoeing paddles.
headed to work after that.

gotten a surprise sms from eva. she mentioned about combat medic... it reminded me of how much i wanted to be one of them in the past. i wonder where it went along the way...
wanted to be a combat medic so much last time so that i could go to the needy countries and help them.
somewhere in me still wants to, nc probably saw that light in me that's why she's trying to schedule some of my days to the paeds side, so that i dcould join her for missions trips and that it'll arouse my interest and make me stay longer here..
not that i mind cross training, i always wanted to work at the paeds side anyway.

sometimes when you think you really know what you want, actually you dont.

so many colleagues are asking me to try for SIA. ha.. it's funny sometimes, to think about it.
sure it was one of dreams during my younger days.. but...

i've got so much plans in my head, and i dont know what to choose.
there's also one, which i hope it'll be fulfilled; working part-time in any of the sufer shops while studying and take surfing at the same time.
FUN!

ah..
going mad.




anyway i just want to stop thinking about it, but i cant, it's freaking stuck in my head..
fcuk.












i finally shed a tear. stupid girl.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

3 hours to trg.
6 hours to work.
17 hours till the next bedtime.
sigh.
and i need sleep like now.

i hate you.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

the stupid gastric pain is killing me.

docs loose their cool when it comes to codes. not that i'm not nervous, but i still manage somehow to keep my cool. haha..

codes sucks but it gives me a kind of high, i like the adrenaline rushes and the excitement despite the stress..

anyway i think the baby was delivered in about 3-5 mins after knife to skin.
amazing right?
when the body was delivered, i saw something i've never seen in my whole nursing life.
the baby's intestines were outside the body, thank God it was protected by a layer of membrane. heard from midwife y that there were some cases that the baby dont even have that layer of protection.

the placenta was being cut through as it was on the anterior wall of the uterus, so it was time for haemostasis. much of the operating field was soaked with blood..... i impress with myself at times, about how blood doesnt scares me.

felt that they should have more patient in letting the uterus contract, giving it a chance to be kept. sadly, no. so they continued with hysterectomy. was keeping my cool as i had to deal with five surgeons, though honestly, two is enough... three would be the max. but there's five! and besides, there's so much other things that needed my attention too. the operation itself, gauzes, abdominal packs, sutures, instruments and such.

at one point, they threw all my instruments all over the operating field and everyone was asking for different stuff when i was passing the right ones. that was the last straw, i was like YES! and GOD.. keep your cool... they kept quiet after that and anyway the hysterectomy was almost done.

it was hilarious actually, a 21 year old, telling off her seniors.. i didnt mean to be rude but yeah.

sim sim took over me after that.

sometimes, i still cant believe that i'm a scrub nurse. maybe one thing good about working in a hospital is that you do not have to bring work home when you're off work. everything happens there, and it ends there.

















it's becoming numb.

was having minor monday blues disease.. and i was late for work.
whatever.
dr nasty wasnt all that nasty today.


my eyes are closing.. crap.

there was an emergency c-section to be done, cause the patient was bleeding and she had placenta accreta. so it was to keep in view a hysterectomy.
thankfully, they gave us a waning before they anoounce the code. so i managed to get ready in time.
dr dreamy eyes 2 came. =)




shall continue tmr cause i cant keep my eyes open anymore.

Monday, August 21, 2006

i'm glad i stayed home today, nursing my mom's love sickness for me.
haha. and mine for her's too...
tough love as hid said, it's like loving someone so much that you'll get mad and pissed at them when they're always not around.

could tell coach was disappointed after he knew i wasnt going for trg even though our time trial is next week.
but like i said yesterday, if we're willing to take the chance, the view from the otherside IS spectacular.
and so it was.

done quite a bit of reflection today, family ties are truly important. you just cant do without them, and those who say they can, they're either orphans or liars or stubborn shitheads who wouldnt admit but are weak inside.
because at the end of the day, your family is the one who stands by you through thick and thin.
there are good times, there are also bad times.
it' the process of them coming together and get out of the rough together.
and it's how the family becomes stronger in bondage and in love.



















a cut doesnt exist if you dont think about it, but rub it and its there..
but whether a not the cut is painful is determined by how well the patient's pain threshold is.






























anniversaries arent suppose to be like this.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

the unpleasant shall be forgotten. it's not healthy to remember them anyway.

was walking briskly out of sdba when i saw an old couple who were having a small picnic, it's simply a beautiful sight, i hardly see old couples so loving nowadays.
it's just a beautiful experience to grow old with someone you love..
i began to slow down my pace, to really look around, the river was peaceful, the sun was setting, and some men were fishing to their hearts content.
that somehow made me feel calm and peaceful.




dinner was great, having someone complimenting you beautiful simply lift you up..
walking such a great distance never felt so relaxing and nice...
ben & jerry's ice cream never tasted so sweet..







it's a year! and he remembered. >_<
it must have been my hints.





in conclusion, confrontation has never been a sweet one. it comes with anger, sorrow and truth. and there's only two outcome, either good or bad.
it might end badly, but if you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.



shall stay home later. i miss her spending time with her too.