Thursday, March 02, 2006

oh, let's cut it short.
FORT MINOR ROCKED MY WORLD LAST NIGHT.
the black violins are freaking cool!
they look like teddybears. haha. the drummer too..
mike's hot, SOB's hot. dj cheapshot's hot, ryu's the hottest!
i'm crazy.
=)
oh well, MY ryu's hot too...
hahaha..
nuts.

last night was chaotic.
there were 3 caesarean sections, 1 assisted twin delievery and about 5 or 6 minors.
i was running between 2 theatres for the first time.
it shouldnt even be happening if she was organized.
i was very piss with her actually, but my mood turned better cause i saw dr a.s!
haha.. he's so nice and charming can..

shouldnt have woke up if i'm resting, cause if i just suddenly wake up, there'll always be caesarean sections coming in.
in all i rested for about an hour.
then after morning shift, rushed to Jo's passing out ceremony.
i'm just so happy for her.
both of us slept while her dad drove us home.

nap for an hour before meetingluan2 and eve.
they're good facilitators.
=)

shall continue tmr.
my eyes can hardly open..

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

trained with peggy in the morning..
thankfully she came, otherwise i'll be pushing the trolley alone for one salam.
that'll be silly.
it's nice to row when there isnt strong wind that causes the current to go haywire..
sprinting sets were good, though i didnt go VERY straight, it's still quite straight.
haha..

went to ps for branch, had the lovely tom yam ban mian!
loves it.
peggy is shock by how i can finish the soup.







day 2: you are not an accident.

work wasnt that bad.
just that there were three code greens today.
wow.

i was so touched when dr j remembered my name despite the fact that i havent been scrubbing for him these days.

went for make up trg..
the current kills me sometimes!
still have yet to grasp the skill to control the salam...
i will soon!




day one: it all starts with God.
so far so good.
i'll persevere.










verse to remember:
"everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him." colossians 1:16b

Sunday, February 26, 2006

i should just divert all my attention to Him, even though he's putting me through trials. cause i know for sure he truly cares and loves me.

i've committed myself to embark on the 40 days of purpose campaign.
i'm excited and scared at the same time.
excited to know more about God, scared that i wont be as committed as i'm suppose to be.
i'm so thankful that i've known luan 2. she's such an angel.



i've been asked to try to remember why i like work or my field in the first place...
i used to look forward to attachements, even though i dread the early mornings and kept hoping that it'll end soon.
and when it finally ended, i missed it.
i miss having that sense of satisfaction when patients recover, and are so thankful when they get discharged for home.
i once attended to this old lady, whom i had problems communicating with, pressed the call bell for quite sometime. she wanted was someone to soften her food, so that she could eat it. since then, i became more attentive towards her needs, and whenever the physiothereapist came, i'll join them..
subsequently we became close. and she'll look forward to seeing me each day vice versa.
and when she could be discharge, she cried while saying how thankful she was to me.
i cried too.
i felt so touched by her appreciativeness.
and by that gesture, i love what i'm doing.

and what i'm doing now is facing anesthetised bodies, blood, cold metal instruments, tempermental surgeons, hypocrital collegues. and being assigned to do what others are going to get credit for.
yet i like it cause it's 5 days work a week and some staff there... and i think that's that.

...........
this is my real world.



havent been performing well during training,
havent been spending time with him.
sometimes i hate the fact that we're communicating through typing words in windows and smses rather than talk.
i often find it queer that we dont talk on the phone at all.
and when we meet, we'll be quite quiet...
...

i should probably just stop here now.

i need to get ME back.
i'm actually very weak inside.











why do i always cry myself to sleep......
fuck.