Saturday, January 15, 2005

ran with za today before trg.
we ran 3/4 the distance to the bridge, then back, ran past the sea sports club then to kallang mrt station to meet up with the rest.. it was fun.

but when we were at the construction area, i was a little more conscious cause there were these few bangla workers there.. they saw me coming, then they were like looking from behind the metal thingy.. wondered whether to wait for za, in the end just ignore them and ran, but i kept looking out for za, need to make sure she's ok too..

it was scorching hot today... rowed 4 sets, WOW. first 3 sets on the big boat, the last one on the baby boat..
guess i was a little harsh when i was talking to dennis bout his stroke.. i'm sorry!
and what he said was true.. usually he's like so talkative and noisy.. and if he keeps quiet.. it'll be really deafening and that something is wrong... sigh.. that boy..

ha! he thought i was in year 2 too.. what to do.. i look young! muahaha. even he thought that i was 18.. think i kick too much today. knee was aching quite badly just now.. esp when we were rowing in the baby boat. it was low tide? had to really twist and kick... geez..

and i'm so sorry girls, i was the cause of you all doing extra push-ups, cause i mistaken kam for ain, so i went 'come on ain' then i realise i was wrong, so i said 'eh no kam' then they giggled.. it's my fault.. i'm so sorry..

mummy said that i'm obsessed with running and losing weight. said that i'm thin enough?.. not till i lose those cellulites around my thighs! they are gross..

i'm twisting while i'm typing now? ha.. am sitting on the roller chair..

was a little upset with mummy just now when she spoke harshly. and that's what we do sometimes when they call us too.. *sigh but her's was major.. in the end she didnt cook dinner. i had to go to ntuc to get veggie and i bought ramen! ha. missed it.

i like listening to the discman and be alone sometimes. it's just so nice. esp spending time at ntuc when i've got the money. comparing the food labels, and thinking whether i need some products a not.. then i'll walk home.. that's what i like to call 'quiet time'. was listening to 'true' and michael buble's 'cant help falling in love' *melts.

think i'll be a good girl and follow mum and dad to the market tmr morning before heading out....













you were right beside me, and i was missing you so much...

ran 2 rounds for warm up cause as usual.. was a little lazy.. and the weather was so hot.
we should be tanning instead!
did gym with esther and za, esther kept making me laugh.. so i couldnt really concentrate on weights!
viv was sick, but she joined us to bodywatch and be haida's guinea pigs for her PFA.
she measured our skinfolds. and i've got a athlete's range. HA!
then did, sit-ups, really demanding push-ups, sit and reach, and 3 min steps.
fine.. gained weight again.
met fen, ran again. pushed her to do sit-ups.
mummy wasnt really pleased when she called to find out that i was still in school..
helped her with the dishes and she was fine.. haha..
went to watch The Phamtom Of The Opera with janice not jernice, reu, dennis, and melv.
it was AWESOME!!!
i like the way it started.. it's amazing...
though i was confused by some of the later parts..
love the little details they presented..
the music was simply lovely...
sigh... it was sad too..
i still couldnt find the musical soundtrack. hmmph..
and i'm offically broke! >_<

dennis : cheer up k! you look really sad today.. BUT that doesnt excuse the fact that you're gonna die tmr.. muahahaha

hid: i agree with you the fact that family is really important.. it's just that we dont always seem to treasure what's in front of us..

Friday, January 14, 2005

ok. just realised that roxy ROX!
they've got so much retro! geez.. darn nice esp the polka dots and strips.

i was bored.



Find out what flavour ice cream you are @ star-girl.org!





How are you going to die? Find out @ star-girl.org!



i was really bored...









What dessert are you? Find out @ star-girl.org!



mel just asked me out, to join the rest at zouk.. tempted but NO! heh.. am having a movie date.. muahaha..

haha.. reading hid's blog made me smile a lot..
made me realise how cuckoo she is too? haha..
and guess i wasnt in a good mood these few days too.. sorry babes.. but i'm better now! hee..

hid! i think you can make it for 800m cause you'll push yourself.. i know you can make it!
still considering whether i shld join the 1500m event.. maybe i'll do a trial run first. haha.
i wanna join vertical marathon too.. jo said that i cant make it for the individual one.. haha..
but who cares? it's for the fun of it. heh. and yes to push my own limit and see how far i can go...
hopefully by then the knee would be conditioned to do it.. heh..
shall take more glucosamine supplements now..

yeah.. visited hid's dream crush the other day.. SpYk3 he's so shy.. cute and cuckoo.. ha..
yup hid, he's really friendly.. smacked hid a lot, cause she was having thoughts about the boy who hasnt pass legal age!!
HA! well you guys are really close.. envy that..
but well i've got mr ray too! muahahaha

most of you have the sudden interest to tease me now, that he is gone.. how nice. just make me ponder about him more.. darren came up to me suddenly and ask me a question which really surprised me.. NO! i am not. haha.. did i show any signs and symptoms that led you all anywhere??

some internet ninja you are.. i know how you knew! just didnt want to hurt your ninja pride..

HA! i'm just all smiles now.. heh....

gonna run with fen later, do gym with za, esther maybe hid too.. wanna work on my hamstrings and calves more.. then get super toned legs!! muahahaha.. i wish.

feeling materialistic.. damm.. i want...
all the albums by linkin park. esp the live in texas dvd, and the ultimate mash-up with jay-z
evanescence's live dvd and their upcoming new album.
gwen stefanie's new album, love.angel.music.baby. just love her loads.
the old and the new phamtom of the opera soundtrack!
the all black zen mirco by creative, or the one daryl own.
the new canon ixus i5 digi camera.
nice vans slip-ons..
a new pair of running shoes.
more sports-bra and lingerie.
my dream polka dot flare skirt.
another pair of bikini. probably red ones. HA!
more books by tess gerristen even though i've got no time to read them.
infinate subscription to cleo's mags..
a funky hairstyle.. or maybe just cutting it.
more space! so that i can do my work.
to fix my com really soon..
more tops, bottoms..
to do up the dragonboat notice board... i've got something in mind! just no time..
to manage my time properly.. geez.. and TRY to stop hogging on the com.
to spend time with mummy, daddy, jans and jer.jr
to spend time with diana, sher, qing, and iris! i miss you all loads!
to improve on my singing and writing..
to try to play piano again.. learn new tunes..
to be able to do shoulder press like a breeze..
to improve my running.. have been trying out the new techniques. though it's darn tiring.

i want you to want me for all that i am, i hope that you will try to understand, do you feel the same? do you feel the same? ha.. suddenly thought of this song by solid harmonie.. i was crazy over it during my sec sch days!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

the day didnt started well...
sis irritated me, was almost late, and yes, i forgot to bring my socks again...
and in school.. xing irritated me a little cause of our project topic.. geez.. we're just so un-organized sometimes..

met esther, helped her to pass up the surf and sweat forms.. haha.. she and mel made my day better.. hee.. those 2 cuckoos.. dennis was being horny today.. kept dirty talking.. geez.. should smack, eh no.. pinch him more next time!
helped ade.jr to braid her hair.. her hair is so long! like a barbie doll... yes jo! i shall do what i shld do before i comment on others.. so ya.. kept quiet..
sustained an even worse abrasion now.. geez.. thought i wasnt going to make it through for sit-ups. but i did yay!
did weights with viv and ade... fun! did 7.5kg for one arm row.. and i can do my biceps curl so much better now! YAY! *smiles.. viv and ade, you're improving too!! yay!! hehehehe..
think i'm gonna join the school's track and field meet... hee.. wanna try the 1500 m and the short put event.. cause jo said joining all this will increase our competitiveness.. but am so scared!! hahahaha..
abrasion really hurt.. the epidermis membrane dried up and was stuck to my undies, and when i sat down, the movement of my butt cause it to hurt!! and jo kept making fun of me!!!!!!

to whoever who took it.. freak you, may you be cursed with diarrhea, rotten teeth and athelete's foot..

and jo said something to me.. which made me smile!!!!!! muahahaha!









lalalalalalalalalala....... >_<

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

still waiting for hid..
drowning myself with 'true'.. from viv's blog!
muahahah...
then i thought about when was it we started getting so close..
hmm.. i forgot too.. muahah! i think it was a progressive one.. heh.
through daryl, ben the chalet.... and the first time i did gym with you..
it's still great to partner you now! >_<
and i know you crush him, and him.. muahahaha
jo said we have the same taste.. cuckoo lah..
whatever it is.. it's GREAT HAVING YOU in my life!!
i'm gonna graduate soon!
shucks.

if only i can cry now... NO! cant allow my backstage performance to come into place now..
HA!

















i'm too weak to stand on my own............. but all I need is you.........

posted the last entry for fun.. who says only the men dont get it? women too!

anyway.. was in slack mode yesterday.. was playing around with jo before trg.. and she had this 'be nice to me' sticker on her shirt at the chest area.. and i wanted to touch it, at the same time she wanted to reach for me to lift me up.. therefore, i accidentally 'boxed' her eye, and it really hurt.. I'M SO SORRY JO!

i think next time i shld run behind instead.. the newbies are so noisy!! they cant stop talking! geez.. felt so irritated and so undisciplined.. so.. wasnt really in a good mood during weights.. yes sorry babes, i'm really serious during training.. dont really like to talk much.. and when i'm serious, i'll get easily annoyed and irritated, esp when you dont look out for each other during weights!! please.. do be more careful alright?

the guys were so noisy.. and when we went up for cool down i was like teasing dennis to control his people.. then he said something like i dont give reu face? -_-'

did gym with ade for the first time.. she's good.. just that she needs more practice.. and sometimes i feel that she's left out.. RYAN CABRERA is on the radio now!!! *melts

JANE! please avoid trg when you're so super sick.. seriously.. i mean it'll worsen your well-being instead.. do come back when your condition is more stable yeah.. and please do take your meds though they cause you to be a little drowsy.. if not use other alternatives like vicks and stuff to prevent your nose from clogging up.. felt terrible to see you like that yesterday.. hope you're better now.

jo said something to me that's bugging me... argh.

just had socialogy lecture just now, it was about dramaturgy at work..

'all the world's a stage, and all the men and women are merely players'
----willam shakespeare----

according to Goffman's we all are actually actors, social actors i mean.. while we interact with others, they are trying to influence what we see and the impressions we form about them.. it's called symbolic interactionism : it is a 3-way process, firstly, we base the behaviour on a symbol, then we interpert the symbol and respond accordingly to it.

e.g. we see a dog wagging it's tail, then we interpret it as, the dog's friendly, and therefore we respond accordingly by thinking it's friendly, so it's ok to touch it.. if the dog was growling and showing it's teeth, we would interpret it as the dog's fierce, and respond accordingly that we should not go near it.. instead to avoid it..

when we present our self, we often try to give good impressions and hide negative ones.. and we give different kind of good impression to different people, like towards our boss in comparison to our significant others.. so therefore.. do we lose ourselves then? well the answer is no... because of role-distance and impression management, it separates our role playing as outward performace from our inner self.

so does this make us a little 'fake'? well from the functionalist perspective, it's not necessarily bad as it maintains social order.. so yeah..

there are 2 kinds of impression we present, front-stage performance and back stage performance.

during front-stage performance, the presentation of self is deliberate and controlled, it is usually done in front of our generalised others. whereas during backstage performance, we do things where we would not normally feel comforable doing in public, it is done in front of our significant others.

and though sometimes, we spoil the performance by failing front-stage performance, or the backstage information goes onto front stage, we still get co-operation from the audience.. this is due to tactful blindness or face-saving techniques. WHY? this is to allow the show to go on, and to avoid and embarassing situation.

therefore there is no real ONE image, every image created by different people is different.. and base on Thomas Theorem if we define something as real, they will become real in their consequence.

great! i just did revision.. how nice.. think i should do this more often.. i'm freezing to death.. waiting for hid to be back to school.. so we can pk? BUT i'm in jeans. -_-' and oh.. jill had to tell me how great phamtom of the opera was.. hmm.. maybe i'll ask jans to watch it with me later.. heh.. >_< i miss irritating her, and she irritating me with her high-pitch voice when she calls me 'jiejie' when i reached home last night, she was already sleeping.. miss spending time and bonding with her... sigh...

Monday, January 10, 2005

The 5 Things You Really Want to Know About Men!

By Mr. Answer Man


1. Do all men have the same sexual fantasies? And what are they?

Men's sexual fantasies are probably a lot tamer than you think. For the most part, they don't even involve multiple partners, foreign objects or a tight, skimpy French maid's outfit. Male sexual fantasy tends to stick to a very tight formula: hot rambunctious sex with people we aren't supposed to be having it with. This pool is extended to include platonic friends, our girlfriend or spouse's friends and ex-girlfriends who were great in bed.


2. Do men care if their partner earns more money than they do?

Short answer, yes. Even if we try to hide it and say that it's okay, the truth is that when a woman out-earns us, it's a blow to our egos. That said, not all of us are comfortable being the breadwinners, either. Being responsible for someone else's financial stability is a huge amount of pressure. It's a Catch-22.



3. How can I tell if my partner is cheating?

The issue here is trust. I'll assume, since you ask the question at all, that in some way, you are questioning your partner's commitment, not just to you, but to the truth. And to answer your question, you can't know if your partner is cheating until you're presented with clear, incontrovertible proof. Which leaves us with a far more difficult issue: what to do when you suspect but cannot prove.

I could throw out all the stereotypical signs of cheating: he says he has to work late, but when you call the office, no one answers; he avoids intimacy and sex; he talks a lot about a female friend or colleague; he's vague or defensive about where he's been when not with you. But none of these so-called signs are proof of unfaithfulness. In my humble opinion, rather than accusing your partner of infidelity, the safest bet is to address the issue of trust in your relationship in general. Whether by yourselves or in couples counseling, your feelings have to be acknowledged and worked through together if you're ever going to build a genuine, trusting relationship. This is not easy -- only absolutely necessary.

Trust is never a sure thing. It's precious precisely because of how vulnerable it leaves us. But trust upheld is one of life's richest treasures, well worth the risk of being honest about our feelings, no matter how painful. Good luck.


4. What does a guy really think when you have sex on the first date?

He really thinks you're slutty. And that, sister, is not necessarily a bad thing -- depending on what you want out of the relationship, of course. Unless he believes that he's the exception to the rule (in other words, if he doesn't think you fall into bed on the first date with every guy), doing the horizontal boogie so early on means your relationship is going to be mainly about sex. When you're making plans for future dates, he'll be thinking of you on the dinner table rather than across it. However, if you wait and get to know each other on an emotional level and let the physical follow, then the relationship can be about both. The exception: If you two have been friends for a while, then hit the sheets on your first "official" date, don't worry -- your relationship can be hot and heavy.


5. Why do men come crawling back after they break up with you?

Let me be blunt. A man comes crawling back after a breakup because he'd gotten used to a certain something that he's no longer getting and is now panicking in the face of a biological drive -- at the expense of your feelings and his pride.

There are two exceptions to this rule, and both have to do with the time frame of the ''crawl back.'' First, if your guy comes crawling back immediately, he's probably being genuine -- pathetic, but genuine. He realizes he's made a terrible mistake and really does want to make the relationship work.

Also, if months and months have passed, you can be pretty sure that he's really thought about it, truly misses you and (finally) realizes what a great gal you are. But if he calls you, say, two to three weeks after he walked out of your life, do not be fooled. It only means he's been unable to get his erotic needs fulfilled and has succumbed to path-of-least-resistance daydreams about his last partner -- namely, you. Suggest that he try one of the many 900 numbers out there and cross his name out of your address book.

almost died in the morning..

was getting ready for school, when suddenly had really bad cramps.. thought i would be fine just laying down.. but nope.. it was worst.. couldnt even stand up properly.. had to bend while walking, popped in 2 panaco.. and realise that there wasnt any water! drank from the tap instead.. went up to my room again..

i hate cramps! it sitmulates peristalsis which leads to the urge of purging... tried to.. but my limbs were weak, hands and toes were cold.. and i was perspiring cold sweat.. apparently i was about to go into shock.. gave up the idea and went back to bed... called out to mummy.. asked her to heat up the lavender aromatherapy cushion.. and she just had to lecture me when i'm in pain! no, i seldom take cold drinks!! gosh.. then she applied medicated oil for me.. and i went to purge again, with the cushion.. almost slept in the toilet.. was just too weak to move.. anyway returned to bed and slept.. till 0845... attended lectures.

i'm just so vulnerable to cramps. there were times i almost fainted? and damm it.. it was only ovulation cramps.. fcuk. yi qian aunty says that i've got a weak uterus.. think so too.. cause it cant be me not having enough exercises.. like excuse me.. 3 or more times a weak? think i should take more dairy products and take 'bai feng wan' pills on the 15th of the lunar calender... that's what mummy said. it's a supplement for females..

i wonder how would i take natural birth then.. i might ask for a cesarean section instead.. but it'll leave a nasty scar.. so probably natural birth with epidural anesthesia instead.

and i'm suppose to chose the department i want to be attached for PRCP already.. and i dont know what i want, it's either the emergency department, childrens' ward or the maternity ward... gees..i dont know.. shall ponder more.. it jsut feel so surreal that i'm graduating soon, and out to the working world.. gosh i feel old..

anyway jamming yesterday was AWESOME!! went to ray's place first to practice vocals.. like how i should project my voice, the tone, the pitch and stuff.. am always captivated by amy lee.. she's just so good.. her lyrics love are so strong and powerful.. *sigh

ah bung body came, we sang 'only one' together.. guess he was very conscious about his vocals, felt werid singing with him so i laughed.. and guess what.. he came with his mighty hands and CHOKED ME! omg.. i thought i was going to die.. he pressed against my cricoid cartilage.. it was DAMM PAINFUL!!! and when he release me, i was on the floor.. laughing while tears just started flowing like running-tap.. such an ass.. our song is getting better.. but was a little annoyed when slash kept asking me to come out with tunes for ambience... will try too..

hid: shall meet you later still, i'm okay now..
hai: hope that you're ok.. do take care.. though you dont always confide in me, i'm always here if you need me..

Sunday, January 09, 2005

i won't talk
i won't breathe
i won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think i don't look
but deep inside the corner of my mind
i'm attached to you
i'm weak, it's true'
cause i'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
'cause my heart keeps falling faster

i've waited all my life
to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so i will not hide
it's time to try
anything to be with you
all my life i've waited
this is true

you don't know what you do
everytime you walk into the room
i'm afraid to move
i'm weak, it's true
i'm just scared to know the answer
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me?

i've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so i will not hide
it's time to try
anything to be with you
all my life i've waited
this is true

i know when i go
i'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

i've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so i will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life i've waited

this is true

----ryan cabrera-true----

i hate visiting your blog!
cause i feel sad everytime i hear the song..
i tend to .............
anyway take care big guy!!!